Once a Year Pass

I don't know what to write on this post. I'm in front of the computer and tick by tick the clock beside me sounded like a time bomb that's about to explode. Afraid to even put on a CD that I'm religiously listening to lately, I'm afraid that I might relate my situation to it again. Instead, I prefer the clock's ticking sound... is it really accurately counting my time remaining here... here in inside my 3 dimensional hardiflex walls, are my stays in this comforting dark room really numbered? And soon my half naked body at night will be missed by these FHM calendar girls on my wall (I feel sorry for them, I think they were fooled by the cheap dim light I use during at night.) See, lately, I feel I am contributing to a worthwhile moments with my family and I remissed it a long time. I spent my new year at my grandmother's place along with my cousins who lived there. We're just 6 grandchildrend in my father's side, 6 is a small number but we hardly see each other after we've moved here in Makati. And I still miss my lola even until now, I will never forget what I have felt that new year's day. I've been wandering elsewhere for a very long time and I didn't even had a chance to visit them even those times when I worked in a nearby office in Eastwood Libis (a one jeepney ride and about 10 minutes away from my grandmother's place.)

That new year's night, when my lola hugged me and greeted "Happy New Year, Apo!" it sounded like she said "Welcome back Apo ko!" . Tears pregnant with guilt came down from my eyes pass my cheek and down to my lola's shoulder. Why am I feeling this way? I understand my emotions that day, but why there were tears dripping down my eyes... that I don't know. I really miss her and maybe it was too strong and so instant that I didn't even had a time to buy to hid my tears from my cousins, aunts and uncle. And imagine what else happened after the new year's prayer? (new year's prayer is a family tradition where we gather around and pray exactly when January 1st strikes the clock.) We all cried and I ain't got a metaphor for that. I guess you'll understand it without further explanations.

I'll try to post pictures next time (I lost my USB T_T).
Thanks for stopping by and whoever you are HAPPY NEW YEAR to you and may the force be with you! Always!


Love this pic from a friends B-day, got it from emong. ^_^